Auj: Mom, I have a new name for the baby!
Me: Oh, what is it?
Me: Marcus, how about you? What do you want to name your baby brother?
Marcus: (big grin) Daddy.
I was in the restroom and apparently wasn’t speedy enough for Audrey.
Auj: Mom, what’s taking so long? Just push!
Me: If I push too hard, the baby will fall out.
Auj: Oh. (pause) Then just catch the baby. If you catch the baby it won’t fall into the dirty water.
Audrey and I had a date at the donut shop the other morning. For some reason, she was talking very loudly and I’m sure everyone around us heard our entire conversation.
Auj: Mom, in your wedding movie, I wasn’t there.
Me: Yeah, you and Marcus weren’t there yet when Mommy and Daddy became a family.
Auj: Yeah. After you get married, it takes a long long long time to have a baby.
Me: Oh yeah?
Auj: (even louder) Mom, how did the baby get in your belly?
Me: (giggling) God put it there, Auj.
Auj: Oh. (pause) That sounds hard. (pause) I want to be Jesus.