My firstborn went back to school last week, starting her first year of full school days, the new bigger kids’ playground, and sack lunches.
She was stoked.
A little nervous, but ready.
One of her brothers thought it was pretty cool seeing her off.
The other brother was indifferent, probably wondering why he was wearing his striped PJs in public.
And we said our good-byes.
The week leading up to the first day, I was sad. Seriously considered homeschooling and doubted that this public school deal was a good decision. Just didn’t feel ready letting her go, knowing that 1st grade would turn into 12th grade in a snap. Stayed up in bed wondering if I’ve done a good job, if I’ve done enough, if I’ve messed her up with my sins, if I’ve connected with her enough so that when she was tempted to grow distant in the coming years, she would remember the relationship we’ve forged during these early years and come running back.
Then I read this post and knew that for now, this is where I want my heart to be as well.
My imperfections are a reminder that I am in need of a Savior…that we all need a savior. And I have one desire…to have my attempt at parenting glow like a neon sign pointing to the One who will never let them down…
This whole parenting thing is not about me…not about how I have let them down…or built them up. And I am so thankful that I have something to offer them besides my flawed parenting skills…
I can point them to Jesus..and He will never let them down…
– Julie Martindale, Not Just An Ordinary Life
I’m praying for my dear, precious girl. I know there are so many things I could have done better with her these first 6 years, more ways I could have invested in her soul. But I’m so thankful that He who holds my heart holds hers as well.